Deeply inside

I strongly believe everything in my life is predefined. Someone, I haven’t a clue – who is it, created a plan for my life. Every person, every episode and every fucking second of my life are predefined.

On my life way, I always meet, discuss, argue with someone who helps me to do something or hurts me. It’s only an experience which studies you, personally, to be more polite, careful, strong and so on.

I feel and hope there are strong differences between your, I am sorry, my wishes and my achievements. For example, every day I try to make a plan but a lot of external influences try to break the rules and destroy your plan completely. We plan our lives either to achieve something important or something necessary for you or for your family, of course, maybe a company.

Any excuse is good to not doing something important to you and I’d like to be hardworking in my life and in my company. Sure, I am a bit crazy when I am working on my perspective projects or wishes. I can do a lot and fast to achieve the aims. It’s my work religion.

You may be surprised but I am the one project manager who achieves a full pack of salary bonuses in my company. Anyway, the reality is extremely different and it always bumps me into the wall to dust off all my craziest dreams and wished, and returns me on the ground. On the positive side, it is a good habit to be a winner in life but on the negative side, it is dramatically hard to be concentrated and focused on a million of things which I want to achieve…

People always judge you by your car or your spacious flat. From my perspective, it’s not necessary for me. Of course, I like expensive muscle cars but I don’t have any chance to buy one of them. It’s a craziness to do it.

I like to deliver my suspicious knowledge like English, project management, self-improving and so on. I read books every day. This is what I really like – I like to grub something new from articles, especially, English-writing articles. I am proud of my grandpa who was a leader of communistic party in USSR but he has been helping a million of people in Murmansk with flats, clinics, special medicine and pills and so on. He is my hero. I hope I will be like him, the leader of something. I must admit my family often compares me with my level grandpa. Honestly, he has died few months ago…black part of my life.

Nevermind, I keep going and doing what I really like and want to achieve.

I like…

The thing is I like to start my day like today. What I mean is I like to study English on Saturdays. It’s so cute to wake up early and communicate with my Estonian teacher who can speak with you and correct your, sorry, my Jesus-fucking-Christ, mistakes.

Besides, I like to use duolingua application and use it to revision my grammar skill. I enjoyed to find it a couple of months ago. It’s my daily English activity.

I like to chat via Whatsapp application with my colleagues and friends, discuss some light and deep-minded topics. It helps me to improve my writing skill, my fast-responding skill.

I like to post records in my personal English blog. By the end of the year, It will have helped me to understand and observe my Aim 2020, really.

Bloody hell, I did about 100 posts! Sure, it’s the greatest and overwhelmed success for me, really. You are totally right I can write completely bullshits on my blog’s pages but It’s my blog! What I really want is be freely with English.

I wanna say fuck you to all my enemies and dickheading ill-wishers (a new good word). I’d rather o create new posts instead of sitting in the chair and smoking cigarettes.

Surprisingly today is a sunny day. I like summer and the sun personally. Hello, fucking Sun)

According to the situation with the Covid-19, I am filling a terrible pain in the ass sitting at home in the isolating regime. It’s fucking time but time to observe your life, to create new ideas, to love your families, to play, to chat, to meet virtually via zoom, skype and so on, to have sex, to cook delicious meals and a lot of funny things, especially, to drink a glass of delightful red or white wine…or send to someone something hopeful about a new stage of your relationships. Anyway, it is a brilliant time to develop yourself and understand what you are and who you are in the fucking life, bitches!

4 advice by Warren Buffet

First of all – Warren Buffet – the most reachest man in the world! He is an extremely popular investor and billionaire.
Today I’d like to share with you, my brother and sister, his 4 advice:

  1. Reading every fucking day like a crazy man…or a woman.
  2. Find time to think about…something simple and oversee your thoughts every fucking day.
  3. Invest money in your developing and growing.
  4. Surround yourself a lot of right people who can share something new and extraordinary.

Daily routine…and weekly

Today is my usual Monday. I woke up at about 6.00. Every Fucking day I train my body. I do a light version fo my personal training: 120-150 push up and vacuum 3-4 times and additionally, I use a roll to improve my 6 pack core muscles.

Tuesday and Saturday are my favorite days for Volleyball games. I like this games and I hope I am good as volleyball player.

Next my activity is English…don’t ask me how many hours I study English. I am crazy at Fucking English.

The most interesting and facsinating part is playing guitar. I keen on of it but now I have been studying English with LingvoExpert school and it spent all my free time. After ending this 8 month course I’ll restore my guitar excersises. I hope, I really hope that I will end all my second job activities and all summer weekends will play on my lovely guitar. I want to buy a new guitar amplifer or some device to extend my home guitar stuff collection.

Apart from that my collegue Victor has helped me to learn principles of cubic rubica. He gave  me a short instruction how puzzle it fast and productive. Now I am able to puzzle 2 rows of Cubic. It’s my a small achievment.

Of course, I love my family…I like to play chess with my daugher. A couple month ago It was funny but now It isn’t….He has been progerssing extremely fast and now I have to think of every fucking step during the chess match.

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I am alone. I feel completely destroyed…

I don’t know but last few days I feel completely destroyed. I can work, can drink and eat but I think I have deep depression, something like emptiness and alone. I am as on quarantine regime in my soul.

I do my routine and chores through significant effort and mind power. I don’t feel well. Something bad with me, I have to define the reason of this mind state.

I don’t tell someone something. I want to look at a one-point and don’t move.

No motivation, no energetic impact for my fucking ass, no fucking movement…No chance to create something new.

Keep writing without any excuses

Today I’ve got a kick from my lovely motivator and I’ve rated her help in my life.

She reminds me of my 2020 aims and focuses on the my new habits. Cool-cool-cool!

I am sorry, my publisher last weekend I had a terrible fucking pain in my face because of pulling 8th teeth. I should done it in another way it will be problem for another near teeth. For this unpleasant procedure I’ve found my dental specialist who installed me a couple of implants 4 years ago. Yes, i know, I have installed these two implants. I lost my teeth and I should installed another pair of them. The doctor is genius. He created and installed so good teeth that they have been used like mine after a couple of months.

Nevermind I found my dentist who os able to do his work as Pro. I like his approach with patients. The most funny his phrase is “now I’ll hurt a bit” when he starts some dental manipulations with you. His arms are strong and powerful, maybe it is the reason why he is able to do any manipulations correctly.

His clinic is located near my district but beyond the circle road. The district called Novodevyatkino. It is pain for any car drivers. The roads…no, one fucking road is so busy and traffic jammed that I spend 40-50 minutes to deliver my body to the clinic. Fucking shit, where is the government? They should resolve the road problem for that district.

Moreover, the road surface quality is awfully… You can destroy your tires on this road. Unbelievable.

In conclusion, I pulled off one tooth and I am happy. After 2 months I should visit my another dentist to check the status of repaired teeth which I had been repaired recently.

It’s unbelievable but it works!

I have been reading a lot of motivating books. Some of them re-telling others but surprisingly I started to understand one thing which I’ve got from this type of books. You should transform knowledge which you have been gotten from books and involve in your life: partly or completely but you should or must if you wanna get new results in your life.

Some people say that you should choose a personal teacher or punisher for yourself who can motivate you, give you a bit of advice or say “good night” in the night.

The best idea for choosing that the motivator should like you and each other. You must connect with each other mentally, after it, all your activities will work by themself.

Perhaps, I found the motivator for me. I try to say it accuracy: I feel her influence and her attitude for me. I can send my thoughts and my fears her and get advice or some reaction to my thoughts. It’s extremely useful to know another opinion.

It is worth noting that sometimes she sends me a small message only for fun and I feel emotional growth after her messages.

In conclusion, I haven’t a clue how long time we can chat together and she will be able to motivate to get new goals but I really hope It will be for years or decades.

Big-big thank you for your help, my lovely punisher)

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My memorabilia…

Last weekend was extremely fascinating and exciting. I celebrated the 20th Anniversary of my Graduating from Aerospace University. There were a lot of my colleagues from the University. The lovely place, the lovely faces and a ton of smiles! I was so happy to see them!

I have some strange feeling after this celebrating. I am so happy but a bit sadly after it. I know that I can make a call and all of them will be happy to hear my fucking voice but…It looks like after the next 20 years we can not remember a lot of details and funny stories from our education. Who knows…nobody knows who can join the next the 40th Anniversary. It’s drearily.

From my perspective, all of us were ready to join together and were ready to discuss a lot of family topics, business topics and stories for those old years when we were so young and funny.

It’s a bit nostalgic to think that I am so old but not expired and I’m vintage.

Today I am a bit rusty…

As you mentioned, I love to play volleyball. It’s my favourite sports activity and as for me, I play volleyball twice a week. Yesterday I visited a traditional training with the cherry team because of it I feel rusty.

From my side, it’s so dynamic and energetic type of sport which can develop your speed, reaction, power and fast thinking to do the next step.

I strongly believe that it protects my body and do my back straight and strong.

Additionally, I get a lot of good opportunities to see beautiful girls which play with me and near me I play and train with Cherry team which has about 10 girls in various sizes and play quality. From my point of view the best way to have a good and stable state of volleyball is playing a lot with various players.

On Saturdays I play with two men teams who play extremely hard and fast compare to sexy cherry team.

Anyway, both possibilities do healthy me and my old body. Indeed.