Deeply inside

I strongly believe everything in my life is predefined. Someone, I haven’t a clue – who is it, created a plan for my life. Every person, every episode and every fucking second of my life are predefined.

On my life way, I always meet, discuss, argue with someone who helps me to do something or hurts me. It’s only an experience which studies you, personally, to be more polite, careful, strong and so on.

I feel and hope there are strong differences between your, I am sorry, my wishes and my achievements. For example, every day I try to make a plan but a lot of external influences try to break the rules and destroy your plan completely. We plan our lives either to achieve something important or something necessary for you or for your family, of course, maybe a company.

Any excuse is good to not doing something important to you and I’d like to be hardworking in my life and in my company. Sure, I am a bit crazy when I am working on my perspective projects or wishes. I can do a lot and fast to achieve the aims. It’s my work religion.

You may be surprised but I am the one project manager who achieves a full pack of salary bonuses in my company. Anyway, the reality is extremely different and it always bumps me into the wall to dust off all my craziest dreams and wished, and returns me on the ground. On the positive side, it is a good habit to be a winner in life but on the negative side, it is dramatically hard to be concentrated and focused on a million of things which I want to achieve…

People always judge you by your car or your spacious flat. From my perspective, it’s not necessary for me. Of course, I like expensive muscle cars but I don’t have any chance to buy one of them. It’s a craziness to do it.

I like to deliver my suspicious knowledge like English, project management, self-improving and so on. I read books every day. This is what I really like – I like to grub something new from articles, especially, English-writing articles. I am proud of my grandpa who was a leader of communistic party in USSR but he has been helping a million of people in Murmansk with flats, clinics, special medicine and pills and so on. He is my hero. I hope I will be like him, the leader of something. I must admit my family often compares me with my level grandpa. Honestly, he has died few months ago…black part of my life.

Nevermind, I keep going and doing what I really like and want to achieve.

I like…

The thing is I like to start my day like today. What I mean is I like to study English on Saturdays. It’s so cute to wake up early and communicate with my Estonian teacher who can speak with you and correct your, sorry, my Jesus-fucking-Christ, mistakes.

Besides, I like to use duolingua application and use it to revision my grammar skill. I enjoyed to find it a couple of months ago. It’s my daily English activity.

I like to chat via Whatsapp application with my colleagues and friends, discuss some light and deep-minded topics. It helps me to improve my writing skill, my fast-responding skill.

I like to post records in my personal English blog. By the end of the year, It will have helped me to understand and observe my Aim 2020, really.

Bloody hell, I did about 100 posts! Sure, it’s the greatest and overwhelmed success for me, really. You are totally right I can write completely bullshits on my blog’s pages but It’s my blog! What I really want is be freely with English.

I wanna say fuck you to all my enemies and dickheading ill-wishers (a new good word). I’d rather o create new posts instead of sitting in the chair and smoking cigarettes.

Surprisingly today is a sunny day. I like summer and the sun personally. Hello, fucking Sun)

According to the situation with the Covid-19, I am filling a terrible pain in the ass sitting at home in the isolating regime. It’s fucking time but time to observe your life, to create new ideas, to love your families, to play, to chat, to meet virtually via zoom, skype and so on, to have sex, to cook delicious meals and a lot of funny things, especially, to drink a glass of delightful red or white wine…or send to someone something hopeful about a new stage of your relationships. Anyway, it is a brilliant time to develop yourself and understand what you are and who you are in the fucking life, bitches!

Катя Бекинселова…Kate Beckinsale video

I have a big problem with recognizing women speech and my new challenge is watching every Fucking day a new video with women voice to be more polite with it.

Today I found interesting a lot of video with the famous and adorable woman – Kate Beckinsale and a famous journalist Stephen Colbert. She is extremely brilliant and she knows a bit Russian. You can watch this video on my current page. she is 45 and It seems that she looks so beautiful because of her frecking vampier movies, totally! She always kicks their vampier asses every day!

The most hilarious part in the mentioned video was a part when Kate and a journalist were discussing Kate’s Instagram. Sorry, I have logged out from my Instagram and sent “fuck off” all my social networks. Anyway, she was describing a bunch photos from her Instagram and on one of the photos a journalist noticed a lamp with a penis) Of course, the TV channel banned a part of the image but you can check this photo on the Internet. Why did I write all this scrap about, she has to get out this fucking lamp from her home but I hope it\’s lovely ex-husband memorabilia.

Additionally, I got a couple of new phrases from the video like “I aced it” and She is an impeccable lady (this phrase from my Estonian teacher who has been learning with me many years). Only English, Fucking English, brothers and sisters! Cheers!

Darkness is coming

From my perspective, the next few months will be the most shocking in my life and life of my family. Covid-19 is here, in Russia, we cannot detect and protect yourself. The most important part of protection is self-isolation from the whole world. We must only sit down and relax in our houses and flats.

Besides, Russian will be dramatically decreasing human population and economy. Mr. Putin decided he is the best president for Russia but he isn’t. He has inspired by his fucking entourage. He is blinded by them. It’s an only politic game with us, civil … I hope, I really hope that he has a clearly understanding what the fuck is going on in Russia right now and what happens with economic and small business in Russia.

A new habit – avoiding social networking completely…

I dreamed to escape social media addiction. I truly understand, damn, I spend a lot of time sitting and browsing news in VK or FB. This day has came….

Todat I realized to escape the addiction and say to social networking – Piss off!

What the dickens? How can I use this type of sites to spend time so uneffectivly? Today i decided to kick them ass and remove them from my life.

Damn, it was so hard to click log out button and broke all social networking chains so fast as I could but I did it!

I guess Tomorrow’s morning my browser will be noticing me about fucking social platforms but I hope I will have closed all my relationship with this addiction.

Instead of browsing and serfing internet pages I would rather listen to music or reading lovely books about economic, self-motivation or body positive.


Covid-19 panic and my family

I check every day the situation of Covid-19 in Russia Yesterday I watched a couple of TV programmes by the Russian Government, I hope, they were not lying us about the current situation in Russia.

I really hope that Russians have anti-virus protection because during our life we have a lot of various types of flu and it will help us to protect this new, bitch, virus, I mean Covid-19 virus.

I really hope that our government will check every freaking day the situation and protect us from this fucking virus.

From my perspective, we must be ready to work from home and be more positive about our state at home. Don’t panic. It’s only a virus. Yes, I totally understand that it’s an absolutely dangerous situation for me and my family, and also, a family of my lovely co-workers.

My wife really fears this infection, this virus and my new problem is decreasing her attitude for it in this panic situation.

I strongly believe we can resolve this situation successfully. I hope all my and my family plan will be started and executed.

Be careful and healthy, best wishes, my brothers and sisters! Douchebag Covid-19, we will kill and isolate you totally. Piss off! Russian infection scientists and doctors will kick your ass absolutely!

4 advice by Warren Buffet

First of all – Warren Buffet – the most reachest man in the world! He is an extremely popular investor and billionaire.
Today I’d like to share with you, my brother and sister, his 4 advice:

  1. Reading every fucking day like a crazy man…or a woman.
  2. Find time to think about…something simple and oversee your thoughts every fucking day.
  3. Invest money in your developing and growing.
  4. Surround yourself a lot of right people who can share something new and extraordinary.

I am alone. I feel completely destroyed…

I don’t know but last few days I feel completely destroyed. I can work, can drink and eat but I think I have deep depression, something like emptiness and alone. I am as on quarantine regime in my soul.

I do my routine and chores through significant effort and mind power. I don’t feel well. Something bad with me, I have to define the reason of this mind state.

I don’t tell someone something. I want to look at a one-point and don’t move.

No motivation, no energetic impact for my fucking ass, no fucking movement…No chance to create something new.

75 post anniversary!

Recently I’ve written 75 posts. Cool-cool-cool. It’s a lot of posts which I’ve been creating when I opened my blog. Yes, I totally understand that I make a lot of mistakes. I did and I will do them but I hope after writing 1000 posts my style will be another than today.

I totally noticed, according to Covid-19 Panic in Russia has started from the last weekend. My childer have got information about changing of education type, I mean they will study via Skype or other messengers. It’s really cool solution to protect pandemic of Covid-19.

I strongly believe that our government is able to stop the illness in a short time and everything will be okay with my family, friends, and former friends and lovely co-workers.

Our company has involved a lot of Covid-19 protecting rules in offices like new washing hands rules and repeating room air conditioning. I hope it helps us to protect the fucking illness.

Holy shit! My dreams about a lovely vacation on a see have broken by Covid-19. No tickets, no tours, no wishes…only fears, expectations and speculations.

Additionally, RUB/USD and RUB/EUR – has decreased fucking dramatically. I lost a part of my money after declined OPEK deal.

I’d like to add that I started to involve a new habit as escaping fucking chips, crisps, shushka-plushka-barranca and so on. I really hope this habit helps me to decrease my weight to my target weight which I noticed in Aim 2020.