Family relationships

After 20 years of our marriage, I really notice that we have another type of relationship like friends and not like lovers. Yes, people say that the marriage has been transformed from high power love to friendship after 5-10 years of the marriage but …. I expected another.

Sometimes I don’t know what I should ask or do. I feel emptiness or vacuum. We have been discussing many times topics, sometimes I feel and know what she answers me and I imagine her reaction on my questions. I know everything about her.

It doesn’t matter what you ask and what you do, you know the reaction on your question, asking, helping, everything.

But when I try to ask her to make some changes It hurts her and I don’t know why.

From my perspective, we live together only as serviceman and servicewoman. The things have delegated for her and me: I earn money and resolve hard and difficult questions, she – resolve s lot of issues with home and children.

That routine drives me crazy. I try to change something but stumble on a wall of misunderstanding why we have to change something.

  • Let’s do it
  • No, it is dangerous
  • Okay, let’s go to..
  • No, it’s expensive.
  • Let’s call them…
  • It’s not comfortable..
  • and so on…

Maybe we have tired of each other and I don’t know how to reset our relationship lovely and correctly without a lot of arguings.

Where are love feelings and passions? Has The marriage destroyed them? I haven’t a clue. Really! I try to find the solution of this shit.

Yes, I totally understand that a marriage is a hard-working job. We should work on it every fucking day without pauses and excuses.

What I really feel that she is, first of all, a mother and her mother instincts kills all activities. Yes, it totally understands, I feel it in each her action and I don’t know how to shift her focus on me and our love topics. Gosh…

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I am who try to learn English and it's my blog where I will describe all my thoughts, emotion and so on during my studying. Sorry for my mistakes! Cheers!

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