What are you driving at?

Many-many years ago I was born in North small city in Ex-USSR. It was a beautiful time for my family. My father was a sailor… Those days It was an extremely popular profession as a job. My mother was a teacher who has been working for 50 years in this job position. That period of time I lived in dreams.

I listened to modern music such as Queen, Dio, Nirvana and other bands which I could find on cassettes. Modern people haven’t heard about cassettes completely but it was popular audio media…

Never mind.

Hence a question: Is it important which day you were born or not? The man has a fucking continuously queue of days and every fucking day you change. It is a long process without any stops and pauses. But Why?…Why do we celebrate our happy birthday only in someday?


It seems…

It seems I have to do other things, I wanna change my character.

Recently I’ve decided to re-read my lovely and favourite book by M. Labkovsky. I hope you know this man who can destroy your mental state completely after reading his books. His psychological books are extremely interesting and helpful. They can shift your point of view orthodoxly.

I’ve got a lot of right things from his books and try to involve it into my daily routine. I’ve often started to say “NO” instead of “YES”, it helps me to spend my time for my important hobbies and things on my workplace.

It seems from another point of view that a lot of people can get out from me and I’m glad to add my new principles into my life. It seems I’ve started to change my life.

Why should I do what I don’t want to do? Why should I tell with someone who only spend my time and doesn’t add something positive in my life.

I wanna be happy…It seems I wanna clean my life and be positive. I wanna change and I’ll do it. I wanna meet people who like me and who add something special like happy, new activities, some new words and so on.

People create the hell in their heads themselves. Truly.

My new 6 principles are:

  1. I do only what I wanna do.
  2. I don’t do what I don’t want to do.
  3. I immediately say what I don’t like.
  4. I answer only when someone asks me something.
  5. I answer certainly only what you ask me.
  6. Finding out the relationship, talk only about yourself.

It’s all.

People in my life

Sometime I think all events, meetings and other important twists of fate are predictable.

My way, my life, my vision, my women – all this staff is created by someone, let’s called it God provision.

But surprisingly your faith kicked you and gave a hard question which stopped you and your life way under review. You started to estimate your good and bad sides, compare to other people an overview all your life.

Frankly speaking It usually painful procedure to recall all your fucking fails and fuck ups which you’ve done. Its your pain in your ass. Its your heritage, it is your projects and deals, your fucking scrap which you have to carry every single day to the end of your life…

Another topic is your children if you have them. It’s your personal continuation, your monumental creatures which will remember you of your behaviour, words, phrases and the most important – your attitude with them…

Your attention and love, your anger and fury, all this fucking staff, all this scap will moral kick you in the last your day.

I often discussed with my grandpa, he didn’t faith in God but he always told me that I should do what I want and need but I must remember about my last day and my final day…

Some people can improve you mentally or destroy your self-confidence or strike on your ability to life without troubles.

Thanks haven, most of my influence people especially women brought into my life only positive feelings and exclusive emotions, they improved my character, lifestyle and ability to think positively.

Each of elements of my life puzzle worsts to recall in the last day, on deathbed…

I do not regret my actions and words which I did or said. It’s my baggage to another dimention…

One month without fucking English

my MacBook after restoring cooling system for the main processor and the video chip

I spent ton of hours to learn English but now I feel how i can loose all my knowledge only for months.

I reckon that most powerful weapon to restore and save your knowledge is repeating and using your English. Every fucking day I must use my English vocabulary, get out old words and add new words.

Personally for me, the most difficult part is repeating. I understand that I am an extremely lazy person and my brain always wants to fuck off English words.

It’s not useful skill for me, I have English meetings or Skype conferences only 1-2 times per week. It’s absolutely minor to recall and repeat my English active vocabulary.

If I don’t use English every day on my work I have to use it in my life, every step or minute.

My favourite list is:

  • writing a short essay in my English blog.
  • Finding a couple of people in social networks
  • Reading books
  • Listening to audio books and podcasts
  • Sharing my knowledge to co-workers
  • Chatting with someone who has a level higher than mine
  • watching series and education videos by English teachers

yea, I totally understand it’s a passive strategy but it’s more than nothing to train my brain.

Covid-19 and me

I wanna share my small experience about covid-19. It’s a first small epidode of it.

Let me explain what the most difficult and dangerous part of the desiase. It’s your lungs and other problems which could appear after your restoring.

If you ask me why I wanna write this article I could say that I fucked up of covid-19.

Yes, I has restored after 5 weeks of getting tons of pills and mixtures. No i feel well but morning coughing kills Me. My lovely doc told me that this coughing will last more then 5 weeks. Incredibly, fucking incredibly.

I haven’t a clue what I do to restore my lungs completely. Last Friday I checked my lungs on computer thomograph check and it seems that I am restoring my lungs but not fast, not fast, my friends.

From the next week I will use dome special air excersices to restore lungs by Strelnikova. She is a famous singer doctor or smth like this. Her approach uses a fucking bunch of singers, tenors and famous celebrities to restore and develop sing abilities.

I really hope this special air gymnastics helps me to restore my body completely after covid-19.

Bad news for me is some morning pain in my back and terrible pain in my knee. I strongly believe that isn’t influence of fucking covid-19, indeed!

The song of my day and my fucking mood

I like blues….that type of music really motivate me to get my blondie guitar and do a fucking bunch of bands with a tremolo effect. I am on the way to play it.

100 Fucking English Post anniversary!

Hello, brothers and sisters! Today is Easter and I did one hundred fucking English posts! Unbeliveble!

I did it! It was not so easy but I did 100 posts in my fucking English blog. Yeah! I totally understand a fucking bunch of them are completely bullshit-style and they are fucking shit but I like to do it and I keep learning English. It helps me to motivate myself, describe my life, feel more comfortable whatever I write and just for fun. It’s my fucking memorabilia of my learning way. Additionally, it’s a part of my life. What I mean? I read books and through my posts I am able to give my opinion about the books and articles. However, it’s the easiest way to learn fucking bunch of new words and expressions.

Sometimes, it seems that English drives me crazy but I like it, I like thinking on Fucking English and watch a lot of videos on Youtube and TED-channel, read magazines and books, get new phrases from my Estonian sarcastic teacher who can help dramatically with my fucking mistakes. I love chatting with my colleagues, especially with her, my ex-speedy bullet and the punisher. (Now I am thinking about your new name in my life)…Time to go and I have to add another hundred of posts. Cheers.